Happy Thanksgiving, or don’t cook your turkey on the radiator

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When I was teaching art a few years back, a teacher at our school had a memorable Thanksgiving. She spent it out on the front lawn with her family because the turkey caught fire and they actually had to call the fire department.

This would have been bad enough, but she lived in a fairly populated neighborhood who took pride in entertaining, apparently. The entire neighborhood, and its huge extended family, turned out for the show.

Cooking a turkey is a frightening prospect for many people. I will have to say, though, that no matter how you mess it up, it won’t be as bad as what these people did:

I’ll take mine extra crispy, please.

This post has some advice about how NOT to cook your turkey. My two favorites on this list of 10 are first cleaning it REALLY well, like, say, with bleach; or cooking it on the radiator. Don’t discount radiator cooking for your other fine cuisine, though- you can find many recipes online and in books. Really.

And it isn’t just the turkey. I am watching the social media streams of my friends, and holidays with the forced close quarters that accompany the celebration bring out the best and the worst of people. It makes you wonder- are 2/3 of all in-laws really crazy? If so, did the apple fall that far from the tree?

So stay happy this Thanksgiving. It doesn’t matter what you are eating, and try to find the humor in the conflict that for most of us is inevitable.

And keep those home fires burning.

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