Head and heart

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I am sitting here listening to the spring peepers singing love songs to each other, tired. It was a really sweet day, one of those ones that you bookmark and keep coming back to over and over.

Jenny opened her candy and went over to her dad’s for a little while. Then I picked her up and we spent the rest of this beautiful day playing outside. She put on her swim suit and asked me to spray her with the hose. Then we watched a couple of shows, and took a nap.

She is eleven. In addition to the beautiful weather we were given, I am acutely aware that the fact that Jenny really wants to spend time with me right now is a gift. Too soon- maybe next year, maybe the year after- that will likely change.

As it should, I guess. They have to grow up, and part of that is not thinking of their mom as their best friend, or cool.  I know it’s coming; I know it has to happen. My head is good with it but my heart doesn’t always understand.

That one line would actually  be a great thing to put on my gravestone:

So human, isn’t it? Life is one long attempt at reconciliation between thought and feeling, I guess.

But for now I will take what is given to me.

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